Our Connections Remain, No Matter How Far We Roam

I love experiencing new places. Especially ones I perceive as so foreign to the world I know. New sights, new sounds, new faces, new foods – an adventure waiting to happen down every turn. I held to this mindset as a few days ago I began a trip to South Korea, about 6,600 miles from home. I’ve never been to an Asian country and had no idea what to expect.

This is due in part because everything was being planned for me and my family – airfare, lodging, meals and every stop along the way. It was part of a tour designed by our Taekwondo Grand Master for a group of about 30 of his students. It’s the first time we’ve not been involved in any of the planning, and frankly, it was kind of nice (and interesting serendipity considering I’m also working on letting go and trusting more – see previous blogs).

In some respects, there were a lot of similarities: high rises, mini-malls, chain restaurants and the like. In other respects, seeing the Korean language plastered across neon signs everywhere, street food stands offering not just corn dogs but tentacles as standard fare, and all the beautiful mountains made it clear that we weren’t in Kansas anymore.

This is the path we started on to get into the lush island forest.

One of the things I’ve been most excited about is being in nature here. I love trees, creatures of all kinds and connecting with the spirit of nature whenever I can. I wanted to see if it felt different, what the leaves of trees looked like and the variety of plants and flowers. (This is usually about the time my daughters look at each other with synchronous eye rolls.)

On our fourth day here we toured a beautiful island called Jisimdo or Camellia Island. Camellia refers to a beautiful red flower of the Camellia tree, which starts blooming in December and continues well into the spring. The island is also known for its connection to the heart because the island looks like the Chinese character for heart. In fact, at the top of the island sits a statue of two giant hands forming a heart.

Walking along the many paths, what struck me was the variety of flora – pine trees, bamboo trees and what seemed like lush tropical plants – all of which sprouted from a huge mass of rock protruding from the Yellow Sea. It seemed peculiar to have all of these seemingly different plants thriving together, but it felt kind of right too. Walking beneath the canopies, you could feel the life everywhere.

Some of the life actually visited me. A black and white bird with a full white belly made itself known

My first siting

to me from a branch about 10 feet above my head. I learned afterward that the magpie is one of the most plentiful birds in Korea. It’s also a member of the crow family, which is significant to me because I have always felt a connection to crows and they often give me messages of one sort or another.

One aspect I associate with the magpie is the energy of the trickster as it’s considered a mischievous bird. So I often connect it with the lesson of Coyote in the Native American Medicine Wheel – the trickster who reminds us to not take life too seriously or we may end up repeating lessons that just make us play the fool over and over.

So when I first saw the magpie, I thought, what a beautiful bird. But later in the path I saw him again, as he landed less than 5 feet away from me on a branch. Well anytime I have a bird or animal appear to follow me, I’ll typically take this as a sign that there’s a message in it somewhere. A good rule of thumb with signs is if you see something three times, and there’s an unusual aspect to it (e.g., you see it in an odd place or something calls your attention to it in an unexpected way) then it’s a good chance it’s a sign worth deciphering. And if, as in this case, it appears in a particularly unusual way, then that’s a good indication as well.

So yes, I typically need to lighten up and realize that I’m playing the part of the fool. On this trip, I’ve had to fight back the urge to make sure everything is going right for others, herd people to the right place at the right time and generally step in when there’s absolutely no reason for me to do so.

I took the message to heart and decided to just enjoy the walk in nature. (Clearly, the message is still relevant because just as I’m writing this the song “Out of My Hands” by Jason Mraz is playing through my headphones.)

The nice thing about this is the message I received wasn’t dependent on where I was – a foreign land thousands of miles away. I’ve received similar messages in the past right at home. It’s comforting in a way, knowing that no matter where I go, I’ll always be able to connect to Spirit in a way that resonates with me. So no matter the place or the adventure ahead, I’ve got a constant connection available, just waiting for me to pay attention. 

Even if the message is to stop being a fool.

Step 2. Trust.

OK. Step one, start letting go (see previous blog). Step two, trust.

And by trust, I mean really, truly trust that what comes next is what’s supposed to come next. And it’s for my highest good.

You may have noticed I’m talking to myself. I’m not crazy. At least clinically. But I do find that telling myself what I want helps me stay focused on it. Call it an affirmation with an edge.

While I believe that affirmations work, I also get hung up on the sometimes flowery nature of affirmations. The “I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me” (thank you Stuart Smalley) approach sometimes leaves me flat. I need a little more of a kick in the pants – more like a “Get over yourself, and just do what needs to get done. People may like you, they may not. It’s not the point.” approach.

Now trust has never been an easy one for me. I could chalk it up to any number of things in my life, but that’s not really important. What is important is where I am now. In this moment. I know it’s not a fully trusting place. I’m scared. I admit it.

So, if you were my client, and you told me you had a hard time trusting others, trusting that all will work out, trusting yourself, I’d approach it something like this.

There are nine areas of the Feng Shui bagua at your disposal (and I could use the Medicine Wheel too, but that’s a topic for another blog): Career, Self-knowledge, Family, Abundance, Fame, Relationships, Creativity, Helpful People and Balance.

Of these options, I’d suggest working on three of them: Self-Knowledge, Family and Helpful People. 

Here’s why:

If we can’t trust ourselves, how can we expect to trust others, the world around us, etc. So, the better you know yourself (Self-Knowledge), the more confidence you have in what you can do and the more you can actual trust yourself to achieve your goals – you know your strengths and weaknesses and what you need to do to draw from one and manage the other.

Funny thing about this area of life (gua in feng shui terms) is that it is also the area of Spirituality. Keep in mind this reflects whatever spirituality you follow – it’s not dependent on any religion and it’s really based on how you define it. I have the belief that God is not something separate from us but a part of us, and as such is an extension of us. So, with that logic, I know that for me, if I can trust myself or my Self, then I’m also trusting in Spirit. Nice connection there I think.

Next area where you could focus would be Family. When we think of family, there are many aspects, and often people look to their time growing up to be influenced most by their immediate family. So, if you have trust issues (this is just one of my many issues btw), then one place to look would be your current relationships with family members and how they evolved to be what they are today.

Finally, let’s look at Helpful People. Seems self explanatory right? We all want people to help us with our “stuff.” And as much as I sometimes just want to run away to a mountain and be a hermit living with the bears and other four-leggeds, and winged ones, the people in our lives can have a HUGE impact on our happiness. So, I would suggest you reinforce this area of your home to focus on the kind of people in your life who would be able to help you be more trusting. People you ACTUALLY trust to have your back and be there for you through thick and thin.

You might now say, that’s all fine and good, but what do you do with that information?

Have I mentioned how great feng shui is? Well it is, because there is ALWAYS a way to enhance a space. Always. Feng shui “cures” are so versatile you will never be at a loss for a way to improve your home. And if you’re not sure what these “cures” do, in a nutshell they act as beacons for what you want to attract into your life. Combine your intention with a cure and you’re going places baby.

Cures come in many shapes and sizes, and not just wooden flutes and red tassels (more traditional feng shui cures), but things like plants, light, color, statues. crystals and more. The most powerful cures, I've found, incorporate something personal to you. So I won't go into which cures to use in my trust scenario because they would be different for each person.

Of course if you want to talk more about this, I'm available for a consultation (that's my shameless self-promotion). Just give me a call or email me.

So my journey is continuing. It feels a bit like a wobbly bridge over a chasm, but adrenaline is a good motivator.

Until next time.

Letting Go.

My name is Bill, and I’m a control freak.

I openly admit it. I’m not even ashamed.

In fact, I think it’s one of the reasons I’ve been able to excel in my corporate job. Part of me relishes in having a hand in so many moving parts, directing here, nudging there, sometimes downright pushing situations to get us where we need to be.

But as of late, it’s clear, that this approach is not the approach that will support my happiness. It’s one fraught with disappointment, failure and frustration because I just can’t, no one can in fact, control everything in any situation. So faced with this reality, it’s time to let go.

Not easy. Nope. I’m willing, but there’s this death grip I have on my current reality. One that I’ve created in which the pursuit of control as the solution for all things is my norm. And if I were to be honest, it’s also beating the crap out of me mentally and spiritually (and my physical activity has reduced significantly too).

So, what does all of this have to do with feng shui, energy of space, spirituality and the like? Well it’s time to take my own advice. I tell my clients that their intention is the seed for all that they want to achieve – and we use that to direct the energy in their homes or businesses and even attract more of that into their lives.

Time to set an intention of letting go in my life. One in which I can actually feel what it would be like to let go – a little scary, freeing, fulfilling, heart-opening, adventurous and even exciting.  

I'm also giving my intention an additional push, with the altar shown here. As I tell my clients, a powerful way to solidify any intention is to create an altar, and use it as a focal point each day for your intention. Simply sitting with it, focusing on the feeling of achieving your intention, will build the energy to support you achieving your goal. Even a picture of one can act as your focal point. 

What is your intention for your life? How are you going about making it a reality? Feel free to use this altar here as your focal point of your dreams. 

Getting the Message

Recently I stepped outside my office and something odd happened. I was walking down some steps and I saw something falling. It was small and light, almost floating, but I put out my hand and it landed right smack dab in the middle. It was a feather. Two in fact. Small, beautiful, brown-striped feathers.

Sure, having feathers fall literally into my hand is what some might call a lucky happenstance. Now consider where I was when this happened. I work for a digital marketing company, what some might call my muggle job, and it has offices in cities across the globe – not rural communities surrounded by fields or small forests. I work in Chicago, in The Loop (which for those who don’t know is smack dab in the middle of downtown). 

So to have these feathers randomly fall into my hands seems less like luck and more like something purposeful.

Now I’ll add one more piece of interesting information. Lately I’ve felt pretty stuck, especially where my job is concerned. There are many reasons for it, but I’d decided that part of my problem was that I was letting this job take me away from what I really want to do with my life – but I also knew that dropping out of society, living in the mountains and becoming the next Radagast wasn’t a realistic option for a guy with a wife, two daughters, a dog, two fish and a crustacean living in the suburbs of Chicago. So instead, I decided to revisit some of my spiritual practices – first and foremost being to ask for help. By help I mean direction and by asking I mean asking Spirit (to me this covers all denominations and non-denominations). For me, the concept of a higher power is most notably present in nature – so this is typically where I turn for spiritual guidance. 

Then the feathers “appear” seemingly from nowhere. Interesting, no?

I’ve learned through my nearly 45 years on this planet that the experiences we have are what we make of them. Others may slough off these feathers as merely an interesting occurrence or at most a happy coincidence. I really can’t. It’s not who I am. I have in me too much of that child-like wonder and hope for life to be more special than that. I instead take this as an answer – one that tells me I’m heading in the right direction, and there’s more to come in the days ahead. It’s a reinforcement that life is special if we only pay attention. Ultimately, it’s that where I am is where I need to be, for now.

My question for you, though, is what’s special in your life? Are you paying attention? It can make all the difference.

Use the Right Intention to Start off the New Year

So now with Step 1, home maintenance, and Step 2, clutter clearing (starting small), under our belts, it’s time to focus on Step 3 of how to start the year off right. In truth, I often tell  people to start with this step but I also have found that this is the one people can have the hardest time with defining.

It’s about your intention. In my school of feng shui, Instinctive Feng Shui™, we have a mantra shared with us by our teacher and school founder Denise Linn. (My school is Interior Alignment®, which includes studies in feng shui and space clearing.) The mantra goes like this: “where intention goes, energy flows.” Simple enough, but you may be asking yourself, what does that mean?

It means that as we focus on the things we want in our lives, we will build energy toward achieving those goals, and in fact attract more energy to achieving those goals. From a psychological perspective, it makes perfect sense. If we stay focused on our wants and desires, all while taking action toward them, we will be better able to achieve those goals.

In Feng Shui, energy in your home
should flow like a meandering river
(image courtesy of www.123rf.com)

In Feng Shui, we think of it on an energetic level because we know that by working with the energy or chi in our homes, we can better support achieving those goals or intentions in our lives. In the simplest terms, we support this by making sure there is a good flow of energy in the home (consider how easy it is to walk through your home and walk into every room) and make sure that everything in our home makes us feel good (creating positive, supportive energy).

OK, so let’s think about intention. Start by asking yourself what you want out of this New Year. Are you striving for a new job? Or maybe just more money? Perhaps this is the year to find the love of your life? Do you want to start a family? Travel to exotic places? Maybe you’re just looking for life to settle down a bit for you?

There is no wrong intention. The most important thing is to just be honest about what it is you would like – no judgment, just accept it. Once you have this, you need to take it one step deeper. Consider not just what you want, but what it will feel like to actually achieve. This is critical. You need to be able to truly get a sense for this feeling. Take a moment to imagine yourself having reached your goal. What is it like? Are you excited? Filled with joy? Satisfied? Confident? Secure? Loved? That feeling is where the “magic” is. THAT is what makes all the difference. Feel it, own it, and hold on to that feeling more than anything else. Now let go of any expectations for HOW you will achieve it.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. We often throw up road blocks of doubt and insecurity. But if you use your intention, and more importantly the feeling behind it, as a regular reminder for your own happiness, you can knock those self-imposed blockades out of the way.

So with your intention in hand, now you can create your own Feng Shui enhancement in your space to help you stay focused on your intention. For instance, if you want to travel because it makes you feel alive and free, you can focus on the travel space in your home (every home has one, as does every room), and put up pictures of where you want to go or, even better, a representation of how it would make you feel (e.g., simply hanging the word freedom in the room).

You also can use this intention as you focus on Steps 1 and 2. Changing a light bulb? As you replace it, be thinking about attracting more “ideas” around achieving your intention. Clearing out a junk drawer? As you create order, know that it is allowing you to get more organized and prepared for making your intention a reality. Since Steps 1 and 2 are ongoing efforts throughout the year, you are creating opportunities all the time to reinforce your intention.

There you have it. Three simple steps for starting your year off right – and such good timing – not only have you just gotten through the first month of the Western calendar year but the Chinese New Year just kicked off on Friday, Jan. 31^st.

And as always, if you have questions, feel free to reach out to me. 

Declutter Your Way to a Great New Year

In my last blog, I shared some very practical things that you could do to start the year off right. We talked about fixing the things that need to be fixed in your home and the feng shui significance of making these fixes, even something as simple as changing a light bulb. It was step one of a process I recommend for starting your year off right with feng shui – with no regrets.

Step 2 in this process is clutter clearing. Many in feng shui refer to clutter clearing as modern day alchemy because not only do you feel lighter and generally better after removing clutter but because it becomes a catalyst for bringing new energy and new opportunities in your life.

Before we get into the “magic” of clutter clearing though, we need to define it a bit first. There are obvious examples, such as piles of clothes in a bedroom, the unpacked boxes in the basement or the stacks of paper on your desk. Then there are the less obvious like the collectibles you have on your dresser, the multitude of books on your shelves that you’ll never read again and even all the electronic files on your computer that need to be organized.

Clutter becomes a block for the energy or chi flowing through your home, and not only that but it tends to attract more of the same. You know what I mean if you’ve ever seen the piles of papers seem to grow exponentially on your desk, or a basement that has become over run with boxes of old, unused items that will never see the light of day again.

Everyone has clutter. It’s part of our nature to collect things, but we have seen this go to the extreme in the past several years where hoarding has become the focus of national television shows. Most of us fall somewhere in between the need for psychological help and the pristine Zen clutter-free home that some consider the ideal.

So where to begin? Are you having visions of sorting through boxes filled to the brim with old toys, old files, old dishes or nowadays even just a pile of old electronics? Before you begin to panic, don’t. While those all can be addressed at some point, I wanted to make this three-step process doable, manageable and with no regrets. It’s the New Year after all. So, start small.

I don’t mean single room small or even closet small. I’m talking dresser drawer small, junk drawer small, even car glove compartment small. Or in my case recently – backpack small.

That’s right, I received a new backpack recently that was a gift from a non-profit organization that focuses on educating kids about the environment (the Rob Machado Foundation – check it out). My old backpack was just that, old. Still in good working condition, but I felt I needed a change. So in went my laptop, headphones, wifi-hotspot, various chargers, my personal calendar, my notebook, my ipad, pens, various papers, etc. At first it felt good to have this new backpack with its shiny, clean exterior but as time wore on, I realized I missed all the pockets in my old backpack (this one had one big one and one small one).

I was never sure where my stuff was inside, and it stressed me out to have to go digging through my bag every time I wanted anything from it. 

Finally I broke down and switched back – placing the laptop in its sleeve, along with my ipad and personal calendar, there was a place just for my cords, another for my smaller devices another for all my pens, keys and receipts in need of expensing. Plus there was an extra completely empty pocket that I could fill with snacks or anything else I wanted. I have to admit, I felt a real sense of relief knowing exactly where everything was in my bag so I could quickly and easily get what I needed when I needed it. So maybe this is a sign of my own level of OCD, but frankly that doesn’t matter. I felt better. That’s what matters.

So where would you start? A sock drawer (I recently ditched several old socks that had holes worn through them) or maybe a desk drawer or consider something a little more daunting like the junk drawer – (I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t have one of these).

Once you’ve identified your focus, make sure you can address it in a single sitting. It may be a small space, but you will still feel great afterward and even motivated to tackle another small project (another clothes drawer perhaps or maybe a file drawer in your office).

Each time you do this, you’ll make a positive impact on how you feel about your home, and from a feng shui perspective open doors for additional opportunities in many aspects of your life. Each change may seem small but they truly can have a big impact. 

Start the New Year without Regret

The New Year brings with it a host of new things – new hopes, new dreams, new resolutions – especially as we look back and consider what we’d like to achieve in the days ahead. Often though, we beat ourselves up for not achieving our goals soon after setting them, which just makes it that much more difficult to achieve them. (This is why I typically skip the whole resolution thing – I always feel like I’m setting myself up for a fall.)

So this year, I’m developing a simple plan. I’m focusing my attention on the practical – those things that I know can make a difference and are not so lofty that I can’t achieve. I’m starting with a simple three-step process using feng shui as my guide.

The first step is what I’m calling feng shui maintenance. What I mean by this is just this: fix what needs to be fixed. Doesn’t sound too sexy I know, but it can have a powerful impact on your life. Feng shui is based on the premise that our homes are extensions of ourselves – which as we look around and see the various objects and styles we’ve selected, makes sense.

When you take this premise a level or two deeper, as we do in feng shui, different aspects of our homes represent different aspects of our lives (e.g., career, relationships, prosperity, etc.), and even the systems (e.g., plumbing and electrical), appliances and various objects in the home can affect our quality of life because of what they represent.

For instance, some feng shui experts focus solely on health and how our homes can reflect our own physical well-being. Our plumbing for instance is more than just a complex set of pipes but a channel for our emotions. In feng shui, the water element represents our emotions, so when there is a block in our plumbing it can represent an emotional block we may be having in our lives. This doesn’t mean you won’t need a plumber if you address the emotional issue but it does show how our homes can be more than mundane physical structures.

Consider too the appliances in your kitchen – a place in your home that represents prosperity because this is where we bring, prepare and cook all our food (a symbol of abundance). If they are not in working order, this can have an effect on the food we serve. In feng shui, the stove represents the element of fire, which is a strong generator of energy or chi. If it is not working, you are limiting the amount of energy or support you need to attract greater abundance into your life.

The fixes don’t need to be big – sometimes it’s simply changing a light bulb (in feng shui, this adds chi to a space) or swapping out the batteries on your smoke detectors (creating a greater sense of security in your home) or adding salt to your water softener (are there some challenging emotional situations that could use a softer touch?).

Each of these fixes, even the small maintenance items, can add up to big changes in how you feel about your home. When these things no longer weigh on you, you can appreciate your home for what it offers and not what you have to do in it. And that’s the crux of it. How you feel about your home. You want to walk into your home feeling uplifted, welcomed and supported. This is good feng shui. Maintenance is a first key step.

Next time, I’ll cover Step 2: Clutter Clearing but right now, I have some light bulbs to change, and a table to wax, and some salt to purchase, oh and a dishwasher that needs repair.