Ahhh, the smell of it...

Walking down the streets of Colorado Springs this weekend, I had an opportunity to stop into a few shops. Each was entirely different from one another, but I was struck by the same thing as I entered – the smell.

I mean this in a good way.

In one shop, I entered and could clearly catch the scent of lavender. This was a shop with various essential oils, flower essences, soaps and related books on the topics. Lavender has a very soothing effect on us, helping to create an aura of peace in a space, which made perfect sense for this small shop and its wares.

In the other, the strong aroma was much earthier, but still sweet, which I recognized as Nag Champa incense. Tibetan wares filled the shelves and covered the walls. My daughter was especially drawn to the singing bowls and the caretaker even demonstrated a large 18-inch quartz crystal singing bowl tuned to the key of F (the heart chakra). Statues of dragons, lucky frogs, Kwan Yin and other Hindu gods, and colorful clothing  complemented the deep red, yellow and earth tones that blanketed the space. Nag Champa seemed the perfect match for this place, with its very grounding essence.

Although two very different establishments, one very light and the other earthy, they each used the same technique for setting the tone for their stores. We can do the same in our homes or in our individual spaces. Consider the home you walk into that has cookies baking in the oven. It’s hard not feel a sense of welcome and warmth. While we can’t all be baking every time company comes, we can use more subtle approaches with aromatherapy.

Aromatherapy uses essential oils, which are botanical extracts from various plants, to make that connection between our sense of smell and a positive, emotional experience. Studies have proven our sense of smell is most closely tied to our memories, so it can be a great tool for tapping into those positive associations we have with the past, but can also help establish new positive memories.

I prefer using essential oils to the chemically based options sold in the grocery and large retail stores because it’s a more natural approach and you are better able to control the strength of the scent you use to fill a room.

If you’re wondering where to begin, start with a diffuser. The most common are those with a small stand and a glass or metal bowl heated by a tea light. Add water and a few drops of the oil of your choice, let the heat of the tea light do its magic and the space will begin to fill with the gentle aroma (make sure you don't leave the candle unattended). 

Next, you should select an essential oil that you enjoy. If you don’t know which one, stores that sell essential oils will often have testers you can use to get a sense for the aroma.

As you’re selecting your oils, remember to consider the intention or feel you want for your home. Are you looking to have your home feel more balanced, more grounded, or more energized? There are so many options ranging from lavender to sage to lemon. Bottom line though, you should listen to your intuition. It’s the best guide you’ll have.

So if you’re looking to create a great first impression in your home, don’t forget to consider the sense of smell. It can set the tone for great memories to come.

When In Doubt, Move It.

I asked my daughter recently how she would go about improving our deck. I told her I didn't think the lights worked well any longer and it just didn't feel as good as it once did. This was her response:

"You know what I do when I want a space to feel differently? I move things around."

I have to admit I felt a swell of pride when she said this. It was such a natural Feng Shui response. I remember when I was a kid, I would rearrange my furniture in my room every few months or so. It drove my mom a bit batty, but I knew I just needed a different feel in the space.

Now that I'm a Feng Shui consultant, I understand the impact of shifting things around in a space and why I needed to listen to my instincts on this even back then. When we're feeling stuck in our lives, there can be many reasons for it, but more often than not there's an indication in your home of what that is and why.

In Feng Shui, we use an energetic map called the Bagua, to connect aspects of our lives (e.g., career, relationships) with areas of our home.It allows us to pinpoint enhancements for specific aspects of your life.  When you feel stuck, there can be telltale signs of this in your home too, like a lot of clutter; but if the signs are not so evident, you can take my daughter's advice and move some things around.

The question becomes where do you start? I'd say first listen to your intuition. Where do you feel you should start? What room just feels like it needs to be changed? If nothing comes up, I'd say start with the entry to your home because this is considered the "mouth of chi" -- it's the place the energy enters your home and if there are blocks here, it can have an effect on the entire space. As you enter your home, do you notice anything that just doesn't feel right? Is there something you've been meaning to do in this space but just haven't gotten around to it? Well, now's the time.

Next, I'd recommend focusing on your office, which typically represents your career and prosperity. Does the desk feel right where it is? Are there book shelves that could be moved or better organized? What about your computer? Can it be moved to another place on your desk?

One more place to consider starting is your bedroom. This space represents your intimate relationships. How would it feel if you moved an end table or swapped out a lamp? What about shifting the bed slightly or moving the dresser to another corner? Even moving small items, like pictures, can make a difference.

Moving things around really is just a start in creating better feng shui for your space, but it will allow you to get a different feel in a room because you're changing the way energy is flowing in the space. You'd be surprised what a difference these shifts can have on not only a room but you, too. Enjoy the shifting!

Summer? So Soon?

Summer is here! OK, not officially, but as kids do you remember marking your summer by the Solstice? Me neither, and my daughters are no different. They see summer starting in less than two weeks when the last school bell rings (although to be honest, I don’t even know if they have bells anymore, maybe it’s more of a buzz), and I think even our dog is feeling it.

In the adult realm of our house, we’re less excited about the speed with which summer approaches. It’s not that we don’t have great plans for the next few months; it’s that we have SO MANY great plans. The big trip is to Costa Rica for 10 days in July, but up until then we have a trip to Dallas for a long weekend, a trip to Colorado for a tae kwon do competition, a trip to my Dad’s where I’ll be driving a U-Haul back from Massachusetts and various other local events we’ll be attending, not the least of which is a 10-day Feng Shui certification course I’ll be leading starting in late August and a 2-day body, mind, spirit seminar for which I need to prepare to lead a half-day session in September.

Meanwhile, we have about 70 seedlings sprouting in our living room that need to get planted along with all the other yard work that keeps taunting us. 

So our girls’ excitement for the best summer ever is quickly becoming our panic that there’s no way we’ll be able to get everything done.

International trips, cross-country trips, local trips, family, friends, classes, seminar, yard work – all while maintaining some semblance of sanity. Ahhhh! And then we breathe.

That last part there, that’s the key. Breathing. I tell my clients, friends and families all the time, it’s about breathing. It’s the simplest thing to do but makes all the difference in the world. It allows us to center ourselves because we actually feel our body moving in and out, up and down. When we focus on our body it forces us to step outside of our mindset in the moment, and that moment can be exactly what you need to step back for a minute and take another look. A more objective look, and even a grateful look.

As I step back, I can realize how fortunate I am to be able to have such a packed summer. I can be grateful for my nine to five job that has allowed me to afford these things. I can be thankful for all the people in my life that care enough for me to want me to visit or travel with them. I can acknowledge all the great things in my life. And that’s why I breathe.

You may wonder what this has to do with Feng Shui. Translated, Feng Shui means wind and water. And if the goal of Feng Shui is to create a space that flows like wind or water, what better way to start do this than by internalizing this flow, breathing in this flow, and making it a part of you each day.

We’ll talk about water another day. 

The Flow of Life

Why in Feng Shui do we look at the flow of energy in a home? On the surface it is because the energy of our spaces affects how we feel while we sit in our favorite chairs, eat our meals and sleep in the comfort of our beds. On a deeper level, the flow reflects much more. It mirrors our inner world -- our emotions, our ideas, our hopes, our challenges.

When taken in this context, the clutter in one room becomes more than a mess that weighs on you every time you see it, but a symbol of a block to achieving your dreams you are facing within yourself.

Clutter,while just one Feng Shui challenge, is one of the most prevalent. Everyone has clutter, whether a basement full of boxes or a desk full of papers. It's also one of the most noticeable and greatest blockers of chi flow. Often the less noticeable chi influencers, the ones that we live with day in and day out without even realizing them to be an issue (e.g., empty walls, prevalent colors, large windows -- the list goes on), are the ones that can have the greatest impact on changing the flow of a space. Before making any changes though, it's important to understand how in fact you do get the energy to flow better.

First let's determine how the energy should flow. A river is a good metaphor for this. Consider a fast flowing river with many rapids, and hence rocks, to navigate. While this may be a kayaker's dream, if you had this kind of energy in your home, you may enjoy an initial adrenaline rush when you first arrive, but after a while it can wear you down. On the opposite spectrum is a river that barely flows at all. Sure it's good for a leisurely row on a sunny afternoon, but soon you'll find you haven't gotten very far, and a lethargic feeling may settle in so you don't feel like doing much of anything, much less focusing on your goals and aspirations.  

What you want to create is a flow somewhere in between. The chi should flow like a gentle meandering river, constantly flowing, not too fast and too slow.

How do you translate this to your home? The flow of energy can be initially determined by what attracts your attention. For instance, if you walk into your home and there is no immediate focal point, the energy can remain stagnant. The same goes for each room.

Once you have the initial focal point, what else attracts your attention? Is it many small objects throughout the room that don't seem to have a clear connection to one another? This can scatter the chi, sending it off in many directions while also speeding it up because there is no clear single focus. Perhaps there is a large piece of furniture that takes over the room. This can significantly slow the chi in a room.

The goal would be to have the energy in a room and a home circulate, always having something to draw its attention to keep the energy flowing. Hanging artwork or pictures on walls is a great way to keep the energy flowing. This doesn't mean a wall needs to be full to create great chi -- one beautiful piece you love is enough.

There are also many subtle ways to direct the chi, for instance through textures and colors. A wall painted in earth tones will typically slow down the energy of a space while bright colors will increase the energy. Consider the textures in the room -- a silver coffee table would support a smoother and quicker flow versus a shag carpet, which can be more grounding and slow the energy.

Feng Shui offers many options, all of which cannot be covered in a single blog post, for manipulating the flow of chi. Begin by looking around your home to identify chi blockers or other chi influencers. This small bit of detective work will help you to understand whether the chi is flowing like river rapids or a stagnant creek. Once you establish good chi flow in your home, you'll begin to see it reflected in your life.

The Journey at Home

I've walked this path many times. It speaks to me along the way. Sometimes through birdsong, other times through the rustling of leaves by small feet; but no matter how nature shares her stories, I always feel better after listening.

For me, this path epitomizes the old maxim, it's the journey not the destination. It's a good maxim as maxim's go, but the question becomes what do you do with it? Is it something you hear, acknowledge and then discard until you find another path in nature or get hit upside the head with its truth once again?

The answer? Make it part of your daily life. It's simple to do and you can be creative. Put a picture, like this one, in your home -- a reminder of the journey. Or, for me, I might hang a representation of nature and the feeling I have while on the path -- a leaf, framed in glass. Colors in nature can cover the walls in your home.

How would this help you live the maxim? They are all reminders, energetic reinforcement, that life can be about the journey, not the destination. As you surround yourself with these images, colors, aspects of nature, you're bringing in the stories of nature into your home. Then whether at home or in nature, you'll be able to hear the tales that have been told for generations, a sharing of journeys, not of destinations.

Abundant Expectations

Recently I taught a class about how to use Feng Shui principles to improve abundance. It was a good reminder that I need to leave my expectations at the door.

I had fully anticipated the class to be focused on each person's financial situation -- wanting to improve their wealth or career, two very logical connections  to abundance. These are also two very clearly defined  areas of the Feng Shui map or Bagua, which identifies the areas of your home that are connected to nine areas of your life -- with wealth and career being two of them.

In Instinctive Feng Shui though, one of the most important components of any enhancement is the intention you have for placing that enhancement. For instance, while two people may both want to improve their finances, one may want to travel with their money and the other may want to save for a new car. It's what they want to do with their money that ultimately defines how the chi they are attracting will support them. This allows them to create very custom enhancement to support their specific goals.

For this reason, I wanted to ask the students what abundance means to them. I fully expected references to money but instead I heard things like -- connection to nature, family, balance, security in relationships, being surrounded by people they love.

It helped me to identify enhancements that would ultimately focus on what would make each person happy -- now that's abundance. And that's one of the reasons I started doing Feng Shui so many years ago.  

Until next time... in gratitude.

Finding Your Balance

Many people talk about finding balance in their lives. They feel they spend too much time at work, or too much time juggling tasks at home, or feel so out of sorts they can’t pinpoint what part of their life is out of balance in the first place. They just know they are out of balance.

The challenge of correcting imbalance is not a new one. Feng Shui can be a great tool for helping you not only correct the imbalance but Identify where the imbalance may be in your life. Chi flow in your home, a primary focus of Feng Shui, represents that balance in your life. If the chi flows smoothly, it supports greater balance. If chi becomes blocked and stagnant or moves too quickly through your home, this balance can be compromised.

So the question becomes, where do you begin? First let’s start with understanding how your home reflects your inner life.

The Bagua

There is a map used in Feng Shui, the Bagua, meaning eight trigrams. A trigram consists of three lines, each line representing either Yin or Yang, and combined in three they represent different areas of your life. The life areas include:

1. Family
2. Prosperity
3. Fame/Honor
4. Relationships
5. Children/Creativity
6. Helpful People/Travel
7. Career/Life Journey
8. Self-Knowledge/Spirituality
9. Health/Balance

The first eight are represented by trigrams and the last (Health/Balance) is represented by the tai chi. This map can be a very helpful tool as you look around your home and identify which rooms or areas fall within each of these life aspects, or in some instances, which of these aspects may be missing entirely.

It’s important to understand that another primary tenet of feng shui is that your inner life is reflected in your outer life, which includes your home. So in essence, your home can reflect where things are going well in your life and also where there may be challenges. For instance, if you have a favorite room in your house, there’s a good chance that where this room falls within the Bagua is an aspect of your life that you feel is going very well. Conversely, if there is a room in your home that you do not like, and or rarely use, where it falls in the feng shui map may represent an area of your life that is not as ideal as you would like it to be.

So now looking at your home with this perspective, it’s easier to identify not only what may be in balance in your life but also what may be out of balance. You can begin this detective work by simply walking through your home. Go first to a room that you really enjoy. Consider what in the room makes you feel good – define why it is your favorite room. In contrast, go to a room you do not like. Perhaps it’s a room that either you don’t use or one that you just don’t enjoy the feeling of when you enter.

Without telling you anything further about feng shui, I would recommend you make one change in the room you do not like that shifts how you feel about the space. Perhaps it’s as simple as adding some light. Maybe you want to get rid of a chair. Consider changing the color on the walls or adding pictures and artwork that make you smile. Once you notice a difference in how you feel about the space, you’ll also find a corresponding change in one area of your life. It could be a small change or shift, but you’ll notice it. It may be just a change in how you feel about a certain situation. In order to make a room change truly support your goals in that aspect of your life, there are some additional feng shui techniques to consider, but that would require a personal consultation.

Let’s say it’s already clear to you what is out of balance in your life: your career for instance. Using the feng shui map, you can find where in your home your career is represented. Go to this room or space in your home. As you walk into this space, what is the first thing you feel? That first impression is important, as it also can be a reflection of how you feel about your career.

As noted above, you want to make sure the chi or energy flows smoothly in this room. This means there should be a good flow of traffic and it should be easy to get to various places and things in the room. In addition, the space should support the generation of chi for this room. This means the purpose of the room is clear (e.g., how is the room used? Is that what the room is intended to be?), and there are items in the room that you actually enjoy – generating positive emotions or reactions from you.

Here are some common challenges and simple ways to address them:

1. Clutter – not only can clutter be an eyesore, but it also can stagnate chi. The simple solution here is to remove it. Consider, though, that clutter can be many things: left over moving boxes piled in a corner, stacks of books you won’t read, collections of knick knacks that overwhelm a shelf, or a mass of disconnected photos or artwork on a wall.
2. Darkness – light, whether natural or artificial, generates chi. When a room doesn’t have enough light it can create a lack of chi. Unless the room is dedicated to a purpose that would be enhanced by less light (e.g., a meditation space), add some light. It’s best to bring in natural light when you can, but light fixtures/lamps can be used as well. Traditional fluorescent lights should be avoided if possible.
3. Large windows – while windows are great for bringing in natural light, when you have large windows across from the entryway, or in fact anywhere in the space, the chi can flow quickly out of these windows. You can hang shades or curtains, but assuming you’d like to let some light in, hanging 30 – 40 mm multi-faceted crystals in these windows at about eye level will help to keep the chi in the space.

These are just a few suggestions, but they can help you on your way to bringing greater balance into your life.

Now that you know about the feng shui map or Bagua and have a new perspective on your home, you can start to make real changes that start in your home and have an impact on key areas of your life.

In gratitude.